33 replies to this topic

[danil2fast4u]

Without the Movies.


Things you would never know without the movies.

- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least once.

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.

- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of year.

- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to
the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the
man lying beside her.

- The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star
detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

- All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

- It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is
someone to talk you down.

- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place - noone will ever think of looking for you in there and
you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

- Police departments give their officers personality tests to
make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is
their polar opposite.

- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large
red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

- If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more
ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

- You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless
you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your
sweetheart back home.

- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it
will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent
will do.

- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist
trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious
beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

- When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take
out a bill; just grab one at random and hand it over. It will
always be the exact fare.

- Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at
night, you should open the fridge door and use that light
instead.

- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their
family every morning even though their husband and children
never have time to eat it.

- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size
of RFK stadium.

- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
pant.

- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.

- Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is
necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every
few moments.

- It is always possible to park directly outside the building
you are visiting.

- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended
from duty.

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you
have knocked out their predecessors.

- When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head,
they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

- No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion,
volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba
diving.

- You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in
seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a
child trapped inside.

- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects
you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

[WEBS]

Haha I saw this before, very funny. This is too true!

[wretched]

Have you ever noticed that even the most ugliest, nerdiest-looking people in movies are played by really cool, hot, pretty people?

[danil2fast4u]

thats true

[Xilenx]

I'm sure Neo was actually suppose to be a 35 year old, overweight, glasses, grease stains on his sweats, and lives in his parents basement.

[Prezmet]

- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to
each other.

That was funniest. I was watching "The Sum of All Fears" yesterday and the actor that played his honor, the President of Russia, always spoke in English when alone with his advisers.

[WEBS]

Yes but they had that ever-so-realistic Russian accent to tell you they are not actually speaking English.

[LeonM]

"you can see the eifel tower from any window in paris"

correction, this is only true in an american movie. Please enlighten yourself and see somethign wiht >gasp!< subtitles...and not a kung-fu movie.

[Xilenx]

It's just movie cliches

I think Bruce Almighty (great movie) broke the 555 phone number rule, with 232 or something like that, a revolution in times.

[wretched]

Quote

- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight  
involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you  
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you  
have knocked out their predecessors.

That is so true (and funny) . Remember Power Rangers? the guys before they transformed were attacked by those robots, who surrounded them and the guys transformed with that whole arm waving and movements thingy and the robots would just dance around.

Even in Matrix reloaded there was one Neo and 3000 of his enemies and only 10 would attack at the same time



and another one: -Your enemy is usually the person you'd least expect

[Xilenx]

I would say kill bill, which would apply to the whole dancing around thing, but not the least suspected enemy

[LeonM]

In Matrix Reloaded, they did all jump on top of him...

[Prezmet]

And we all know how that turned out...

Besides, why are all of you disecting the joke. Jokes aren't funny when you pick them apart. Its best to just take them at face value and laugh. That's something that I just learned recently - just laugh and move on.

[danil2fast4u]

I'm glad i finally got a point across to you prezmet

[BKBuffyGurl]

*claps*
Good on yiou mate. Took him 17+ years but he's finally starting to learn something.

Anyways my favorite thing about animated movies is how all of the animals speak the same language which just happens to sound like english but the people in the movie don't understand anything that they say. The other thing similar to that is in Pocohantas she and John Smith can understand each other. Supposedly it's bcuz of the power of the wind, but that has got to be awfully powerful wind bcuz after that everybody can understand what each other say.

[Prezmet]

The first part of your post was uncalled for, but I'll let it go - this time.

And I've been learning for 17+ years... Besides, if I was as stupid as you insinuated, what does that say about a class that elected me to its highest post in an overwhelming majority? I know I'm not the smartest person in the world, or the school, or the class, or the major, etc, but I like to think that I've at least been learning for some time now.

[BKBuffyGurl]

You're completely right it was uncalled for, but so is all of this foolishness all over the site. If you've got something to say to me why don't you just tell me and stop posting stuff to me all over the place that clearly have nothing to do with the topics being discussed. I'm not even going to comment on why you were elected but whatever.

Anyways back on topic. I also love how when two people are talking and they cut back and forth and the level of soda in the cup keeps changing.

[Prezmet]

To the first thing you said, I have no idea what you're talking about.

To the second thing you said, I've never noticed that before.

PS - I like to think that I was elected because the electorate, our peers - includind us, as a group, felt that I was the best candidate for the job.

[Xilenx]

Where's the love people? :cry:

Aren't you two suppose to be...friends?

[LeonM]

Keep on topic, this is the humour and entertainment forum, not the !@#$ about your hurt pride forum. That goes for Xilnex, BKbuffy, and Prezmet. I've been lenient in this forum but I will enforce it like the others if you won't quit your childish bickering.